Sharing Some More Tears

A very dear friend of mine, Matt Young, told me he had a surprise for me.  Knowing Matt, I had no idea what to expect.  So yesterday he told me that my package had arrived and he was going to bring it over.  Did I tell you all that I liked surprises? So he shows up with an envelope folded up that's it "to Jill." I opened it and this is what I found inside:

I was literally in tears. But they were happy tears, someone who actually thought of me and took time out of their life to do something nice for me. It's not surprising that it was Matt because he's one of the most thoughtful people I know. Even though my shirt is a little too big, it fits me perfectly as a sleep shirt. Which is just fine by me because now I can take Moose to bed with me every night :-) 

Even though I miss Moose with all of my being, it is such a nice feeling to have such great friends. Moose was a part of my life for so long, I had almost forgotten the importance of having "people friends."  So thank you once again Matt for my great shirt. I might need another one because this one is sure to be worn out! As a matter of fact I am wearing it right now, so goodnight and sweet dreams :)

Oh Granny Would be MAD!!!

The one story that my Mama didn't want me to blog about is quite possibly the funniest.  After yesterday's crying I thought a laugh was much needed!  

When Moose became part of the family, my Mama kept him for me while I worked.  Or as he knew her, Granny.  I happened to be off one day and Mama was cutting grass and I was helping her.  They have a LOT of lawnmowers.  I think my Daddy collects them.  (Can you say Hoarders lol)  So I heard my Mama's lawnmower stop and I pulled up to the house to grab a cold drink.  Moose stayed on the back porch at Granny's house and he wasn't there! PANIC! Then we realized he was inside.  RELIEF!  So first she found a Moose-sized pile of stinky on the rug in front of her french doors.  uh-oh, Moose was in trouble! But it wasn't his fault he was house trained to the fullest.  I guess because we were on the lawnmowers he couldn't 'tell' us he needed to go potty.  And he associated the door with going out to potty.  Well my mom went down the hall and guess who was laying.  In the middle of her bed!  Yep, big ole Moose! Stretched out to make himself at home!  She started hollering "Moose what are you doing in the middle of my bed? Get yourself out right now!"  Bless his heart, it was my fault because I let him sleep in my bed and that's where he thought he was supposed to lay!  So, being the clean freak my Mama is, she immediately stripped the bed and was carrying ALL of her bed linens to the other side of the house to the laundry room.  I came running in the door just as she was stomping through the kitchen.  She was MAD and fussing and had covers piled up higher than she could see when BAM! She hit the tiled kitchen floor.  OH MY GOODNESS!  "Mama, are you okay? Can you get up?" I was worried about her because she fell HARD.  Then I realized Moose had pee-peed in the kitchen floor and left a pond there and that is what she slipped in.  It looked like a cartoon.  All I could do was laugh when I realized what had happened! Then she started laughing, but she was still LIVID!  She said "I'm gonna kill that durn dog!" but was laughing so hard I didn't believe her.  If I had videotaped it we would have won America's Funniest Home Videos.  So after Mama slipped (Picture both feet coming out from under her and her landing flat on her back with a mountain of clothes on top of her) then she realized her back was soaking wet from the pee!   Poor Moose didn't know what to do so he retreated with his head down back to the screened in porch.  Bless his heart! He didn't mean to cause such a fiasco.  Mama then had to wash clothes and take a bath and I was left to cut the rest of the grass! LOL

How could Granny be mad at a face like this?

Dear Moose

Dear Moose,                                                                                              1-22-12

I am up at 5:50am missing you so very much.  It is almost unbearable the pain I feel.  We had a thunderstorm tonight.  I hope you're not scared of them from Heaven.  I knew that if you were here you would be panting, pacing, and crying.  Remember when Dr Marty suggested you wear a shirt and that could help?  I thought it was a crazy idea and so did you.  So from then on it was Xanax to cal m you down.  Now I am the one taking Xanax to try to calm myself down.




Sometimes your cousin, Ranger [my sister's Rottweiler], barks and I think it's you and rush to the door to let you in.  Only to feel my heart break again when I realize you're not coming back.  I let your little sister, Synamon [my rescue pitbull], sleep in the bed with me last night.  I thought I could find comfort with her close, but I think it made me miss you more.  I knew how much you loved sleeping in the bed with your mama and you were the perfect size to keep me warm at night.  Then when your old age caught up with you and you couldn't jump in the bed anymore because of the nerve damage in your hind quarters, you'd lay your big ole head on the side of the bed and whine.  I'd pick you up and put you on the bed.  That was not an easy feat for me either Big Guy!  Even though I love your sister you are my favorite.  Shhhh, we won't tell her because she loves me just as much as you do! 

You listened to me even when you didn't want to, you understood when I talked to you, you were so so smart! Remember when Dr Marty thought I was crazy because I told him the pronounced knot on top of your head was your smart knot? Lol.  You loved for your head to be scratched.  And if someone didn't pay you the attention you thought you deserved (and you did) then you would take your nose and nudge their hand until they petted you.  I still have your certificated you earned at school.  I've still got the letter that your first mom gave me when I picked you up.  You were very special to her too! 

You loved to ride in the truck.  If we were outside and I left the truck door open you were inside looking at me like "Let's go Mama!"  If you did get to go for a ride you left your mark - Moose slobber all down the windows!  You also loved to ride on the boat at Reed Bingham.  You stood at the front of the boat like our mascot with your big floppy ears blowing in the wind.  People were always so curious about you because you were so big and handsome!  They always wanted to know what kind of dog you were.  We eventually started telling them you were a Chihuahua  and we grew up next to a nuclear power plant.  I loved to show you off and you loved all the attention.  You were my little baby.  Remember Shae Sloan's reaction to my 'little baby' when you came prancing out of the bedroom. She was looking down at the ground for my new puppy and you were almost looking her in the eye! LOL.  


Everyone that knew you loved you.  It's been hard trying to explain to Mattie and Jaylee [my nieces, aged 2 and 4] that you are in Heaven now.  The ask, "Where's Moose?" or "Is Moose inside?" when they come over.  My life without you by my side is incomplete.  I know you were so tired and if I could have 'fixed you' I would have!  I didn't want to ever have to say goodbye to you.  You have been my best friend for a long time.  You were my reason for holding on because I knew nobody would take care of you like I did.  I know how sad you became if I was away from the house for more than one day.  I had to hire a sitter to stay with you because I couldn't stand the thought of leaving you boarded in a kennel.  You know how you cried and howled if I had to leave you at the vet for a couple of hours.  I tried my very best to give you the best life ever.  I hope you were satisfied Big Guy.  I hope I gave you enough treats, toys, brushed you enough, petted you enough, let you watch Animal Planet for hours, and made you the happiest Moose ever.  You brought many years of comfort, safety, and joy to my life.  No dog can ever take your place in my heart.  You were truly one of a kind and I miss you everyday like crazy.  


Hugs and Kisses,
Your Mama

A Kind Gesture

 I got a sweet card in the mail today from Live Oak Vet.  This was Moose's Doctor.  

front of card

Inside of card

We visited the vet a lot over the years! I am sure they will miss my crazy/frantic/can't understand calls along with Moose.  Such a great staff that always helped me and my Moose-Man.  Thank you Live Oak for your card and for putting up with a crazy Mama! From the time Moose had Horner's syndrome (emergency visit one Halloween) to the time he ate the entire Terry's Chocolate Orange one Christmas after I left it on the coffee table.  Silly me I had always heard if a dog eats chocolate it will kill him.  Dr Marty asked me "Does he appear nervous?"  My reply was, "He's shaking right now because if you tell me he's going to be okay I am going to beat him!"  And there was the time that he was at Granny's one Saturday and decided he wanted to eat grapes off the vine (yummy scuppernongs i might add) and an angry mob of bees attacked him and his big ole head was swollen twice it's normal size and I had to give him 10 benadryls.  I could go on and on, but I will do that in another post or five. Lol!  But thank you Live Oak for the card.  I have been dreading this time since 5 years ago when I cried all the way home after Dr Marty told me that Moose was going to die :'(  Without you guys he would have never made it as long as he did! 

The Story of the Ladybug

When I first got Moose in 2002 he was still a puppy and scared of harmless sorts of things.  Balloons, butterflies, and yes ladybugs. If you can picture a 150lb dog backing away from a ladybug that's how he reacted.  Today I shed a few tears. Before Moose passed he always walked me to the door in hopes of getting to go to Granny's (AKA my Mama's) who lives next door. I was headed to Granny's, closed my backdoor, and went to lock the deadbolt and there was a ladybug on the doorknob.  Well once in a while you get signs that make you start to think. Mind you, it's January and there shouldn't be any bugs here. Fast-forward to tonight.  I'm laying in bed w my John Deere blanket our friend Dr Mathias gave us.  This was our favorite blanket to lounge on the couch to read a book or watch tv with.  I looked over my book I am reading today (Janet Evanovich's 

Two for the Dough) and see this ------------->

Some people might say I am loony tunes but I firmly believe it was Moose trying to cheer me up by making me laugh! He was forever doing things to make everyone laugh. That also earned him the title of "one goofy dog" from Granny.  I never knew a person could miss an animal so much.

I never knew a dog that I drove to Atlanta one afternoon to pick up would change my life in so many ways.  Thank you Jennifer Stacy for driving from Myrtle Beach, SC and meeting me with your baby in 2002.  Thank you for selecting me based on an ad I placed on Petfinder.com looking for the perfect dog! Thank you for trusting me to take care of Moose who was your baby from the time he was 4 weeks old.  I've tried several times to reach you over the years to let you know how he was doing.  Moose was WELL taken care of all the way until he took his last 3 breaths with me by his side.  He was my protector, my rock, & my best friend.  I only hope that I made him half as happy as he made me!

My Faithful Companion

I am going to try to do some blogging about my little Moose Man who went to Heaven on December 29, 2011. I am sure I will spend many days laughing and crying while writing about him.  People have told me that they loved hearing about Moose when I told stories, So hopefully I can get them into one place on the internet for everyone to read! This is my first ever blog, so be patient! I'll start with some basics.  Moose was my 150lb Great Dane that was a true 'Mama's Boy' and the highlight of my life for the last 9 1/2 years.  I'm not sure if I could have made it through some of my struggles without him.  (Note, I am already crying like a baby and haven't even finished the intro.)  Stay tuned and don't give up on me - Moose never did!